Although divorce is hard and often extremely painful, most children bounce back and get through this difficult situation. At the same time, it’s important to remember that long-term harm is not always inevitable. There are some factors that can be taken to reduce the problems they may experience.
Minimize Exposure of Children to Divorce
Children have been shown to fare better if parents are able to limit the conflict that is associated with the divorce process, or at least try to minimize the children’s awareness and exposure to it. While divorce can be de-habilitating for spouses going through the process it’s better for a child to live in the custody of at least one well-functioning parent. If you find yourself in a situation where one parent is having an extremely difficult time adjusting it might be better for the child to stay with the more-adjusted parent. While this may be a difficult step, the maladjusted parent should seek professional help or consider limiting his or her time with the child. Sometimes it’s better to consider the bigger picture and take into account the overall well being of your child.
Talk Divorce Through with Children
While it’s important to minimize exposure, a child should feel free to talk openly, within the family, about the divorce. Parents should speak clearly about the divorce and its implications and answer any questions fully. It’s important that child feels they can express themselves without having to bury any of the emotions they are feeling. Like always, parents should provide warmth and emotional support.
Additional Considerations with Children and Divorce
Parents might want to closely monitor their children’s activities, as well as deliver discipline that is neither overly permissive nor overly strict. Other factors that can impact a child’s adjustment during a divorce include post divorce economic stability as well as social support from peers and other adults, such as teachers. It’s also important to remember that certain characteristics of a child will influence his or her resilience. Normal temperament and coping styles will play into the equation. For example, children who are already good problem solvers and who already seek social support are more resilient than those who tend to rely on distraction and avoidance.
For advice on divorce and how it affects children, you need the expert law firm of Korol and Velen, certified family law specialists. Schedule a consultation today.